Sunday, June 24, 2007

Is it 2 young 2 fall in LOVE???...

It is quite a modern fashion statement for a bloke to say to a girl...Heh, I love you... Many say it so many times that finally its just like wishing someone a good day for them... And the extraordinary stuff is that girls take it in that way as well....well, most of them aneway....

U know Malayalis and Indians at large are so proud and boastful of our great and rich cultural heritage... But the way the present upcoming generation is headed, the ancient customs and beliefs will soon become just that - EXTINCT!!!... Arranged marriages are already a thing of the past...And at the rate of modernization that we are going through, sex before marriage(and plenty of it) will become just as customary as brushing your teeth before sleep(well if that is the case, then maybe there's a chance - coz i'm not 2 particular abt that!!!...but then u get the idea!!!...)...

Nowadays if a guy or a girl in their early twenties goes home and tells their parents that they're in love with someone, then 9 out of 10 times the parents will be ready to listen and go along with the wishes of their 'mature' wards...Just take the example of my brother.... One fine morning, (well night actually) he calls our parents together and tells them that he is in love with a classmate of his and that he wants to marry her. There is no caste difference and anything, so pretty soon his marriage is fixed and 3 years later they're married and have already completed a year of being together(God save my sis-in-law!!!!:-D)...

But still the question remains...When does a boy and a girl decide that: "Yeah, we've got something good and serious going on here...Maybe this should be more than just another relationship..." some oldtimers will say that falling in love is not good at any age, until and unless one is engaged to the mate in concern. Any modern-day, practical parent you ask will probably say that you have to be atleast 21!!!... To them I say - I respect your views a lot, but if I can help decide who rules the nation at the age of 18, then why can't I make this decision at that age as well???...

This has got all the hallmarks of being a great topic for a national debate, but then there's yet another point I'd like to make...

The Indian judiciary has named 18 as the minimum age for marriage for girls... Now does that not mean that girls have the right to decide who they wanna live with(i.e. who their lover is) by that age???... The government and the judiciary has also toyed with the idea of bringing down that age limit to 15 for girls and 18 for boys...That idea was even implemented for a few days in a state... Now if that idea has gone through such scrutiny, then does that not mean that the idea has some sort of factual basis behind it???... Then, maybe we can say that yeah kids around the age of 15 can decide whom they wanna fall in love with...

Now, there are a lot of views expressed above, of which I believe in none!!!... I believe that there is no age for falling in love...One 'can' fall in love at age 18 and just as surely one 'can' fall in love at age 81!!!... Why everyone who is born into this world falls in love from the second that they open their eyes... The first love of any man, woman, boy or girl is defenitely their mother...

But when one talks of love as being the emotion that one feels towards a life partner, age I believe, is no barrier... As Gregory Robert Joseph says in his book 'Shantharam', when one meets the person you are meant to be with in your life, you just know it... The first time you see each other, or the first time you speak or whatever, you feel a sort of connection, an invisible bond, just like the one a newborn baby senses towards its mother... Now, my seniors will probably think, God how did he come to know all this.......................

To them I say:

I READ!!!...

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.

- BiBinhio.

5 comments:

sriram_da_man said...

Nice post..Totally agreed..Its disgusting that most people assume that 18 yr olds are too young to fall in love and that they shade evry relationship as a 'college affair' or infatuation..And gud that sum1 felt like standing up 4 our kind!..kudos!

Anonymous said...

Actually i disagree with the above said comment. A bit.
The comment above me said....

"
Totally agreed..Its disgusting that most people assume that 18 yr olds are too young to fall in love

"
To him i say. Yes eighteen year old s are perfectly capable of FALLING IN LOVE. But they are perfectly capable of making a mistake too. Ain't they?
Do you not think that those whom you mention as "most people"- are older and wiser than you, and have seen more of the world than you have ?
Let us leave eighteen. But 15 surely is a bit young. People do make mistakes. And Mr "Red Devils Advocate"- trust me on this; i know better.

Once upon a time your's truly made a mistake. A mistake he hopes not to repeat but fears he can't stop himself from. I know for one that i don't like the concept of an arranged marriage. But then i have felt many a times that it is a last resort to many poor souls who otherwise would't find another. Even the west has got on with online dating. Is that not another form of arranged marriage? You look for people whom you think suit you?
Are they not in a way apeing our age old culture??

And national debate? hmm you are not the first to think about it heh. You won't be the last. Whatever anyone says and whatever age they fix upon. Teenagers will always keep up the traditional CRUSHES around these ages. You can't stop them. But more often that not these are nothing but infactuations. And i daresay i know more people than you Mr "THE RED DEVILS ADVOCATE"- who have made... a mistake. Many who have wasted away, drunk - and drunk till they rotted.... divorced off...what not!!!

But we will not learn ,will we? The hormones coursing through your veins.. mine...ours....hinder all straight thought.

I shall not say that you go back and stick to the traditional arranged marriage and that, that should be the only way you should go to find someone to share your life with. What i say is that you wait till your time- you wait till- as your parents say.. 21, to decide.A mistake shalt cost you dear.

You said, and i quote

"U know Malayalis and Indians at large are so proud and boastful of our great and rich cultural heritage... But the way the present upcoming generation is headed, the ancient customs and beliefs will soon become just that - EXTINCT!!!... Arranged marriages are already a thing of the past...And at the rate of modernization that we are going through, sex before marriage(and plenty of it) will become just as customary as brushing your teeth before sleep(well if that is the case, then maybe there's a chance - coz i'm not 2 particular abt that!!!...but then u get the idea!!!...)...
"

I for one am a very conservative man.I believe that there is more to life than sex or as you compared it... brushing your teeth.
Sex before marriage - you say will become so common, but you think you live in a town where that does not happen now? Well, Mr "Red Devils Advocate"- Think again.

Sure, maybe you idealise the west. Maybe you feel we should be like say most of the European Union where you can get married at 15. But would you rather you have a wife and 3 kids to take care of at the age of 18? .. without a job or education- the means to the job to support yourself ? at least yourself before your family ?...or would you allow yourself the time to stand on your own foot before you decide ?
Eh Mr "Red Devils Advocate"???

I quote you again ,

"I believe that there is no age for falling in love...One 'can' fall in love at age 18 and just as surely one 'can' fall in love at age 81!!"

Sure you can fall in love at 18 or 81, but i would say you first try to understand if its love, or infactuation?
18 is the age when mebbe we should be doing better things. Men have wasted away for THAT, at the said age. And again i say- Trust me; i know better.

And you said;
""
if I can help decide who rules the nation at the age of 18, then why can't I make this decision at that age as well???...
""

So you believe, MR "Red Devils Advocate" that the people who elect the rulers do not make mistakes?
You think it's the perfect people whom we have chosen?
Then you will explain to me why toerags with criminals cases registered against them are still above us.. Sitting high up there ruling us?
As they say in malayalam "Janam kazhutayanu"

If you still don't get the point. I shall explain it further. What i mean is that you CAN elect your leaders. And you CAN fall in love. But just like you more often that not , elect the WRONG guy- you could also make a mistake in the latter; Which of course would be a bigger mistake in your life. Would you rather not wait and see which turns your life takes?

And one last word...
To quote you yet again..
"
Now, my seniors will probably think, God how did he come to know all this.......................
To them I say:

I READ!!!...

"

When you write such a piece about love...
Either you should have experienced it. Or you should not have any right to write about it...

And yet you say ... "I READ"?
I believe love is more complicated than ever can me explained by speech or a piece of writing. Which piece by Shakespeare , Which piece by any of the great poets can actually convey what love feels like to someone who hasn't felt it ???
Isn't that like explaining the taste of honey to someone who has never tasted it ???

And yet you say again ... "I READ"!!!

Why do you not say you had an experience then..
or if not you say you Habe not... clearly!
Then i as a reader can judge your views...
For, if you have just READ, then i- who was there in the fairytale you READ of- am definitly a capable judge. Experience is the best teacher.


And i will leave this nameless for else i know i'l be getting a ton of mail from the so called "critics".

I have deconstructed your piece and hopefully have explained my point without any ambiguities- which i want to for i would not want to be posting on this again. You CAN fall in love at 15, but- Should you?
And i trust, that YOU- MR "Red Devils Advocate" has already guessed who i am. And i trust again that you will reply to this; addressing me as Mr Anonymous. And i hope the others posting after me would try to judge what i have said and give me your views.
Thank you.

- A Reader.

(Shalt await your reply. -Shalt not reply to that.)

BiBinhio said...

Hi "Mr ANONYMOUS"....

As u said ...I do not expect you to reply to this...

But all I'm sayin is u have umm...misunderstood me a bit...

I'm not all 4 sex b4 marriage...I am against it...All I'm sayin is it is soon goin 2 b a common practice...

15...even I agree is 2 young...and yeah experiences do teach...Infactuations at that age is common enough...

18 and the chosin the leaders thingie...Yeah the guys we do have in power are crapheads...But abt u'r pont I'd disagree just a little bit...We, the ppl generally tenf to choose the lesser of 2 evils!!!:-D

And still I say...there's no age 4 fallin in love...and half the time or mayb even more ppl will make mistakes...coz tat's wat ppl do best..make mistakes!!!!....But i'm not dismising tat as something silly...no defenitely I'm not...All i'm sayin is- love is as sure a teacher of life as any school or college u can ever attend...And as u say u'rself...Experience is the best teacher...

Take u'r case itself...I'll bet tat u'r 'experiences' hav made a better and more wholesome person out of u rt???....I don't expect u 2 reply 2 this...but....If i hear not of u again I'll take tat as a yes!!!!...
:-D

But heh I also just have to say this...I loved the criticism....This is y i blog 4...Thnx... And God where did u find the time 2 enter so much... Neway I don't ha u'r id...hope u'll c it from here....And u may comment again as 'anonymous' 2 future posts...so....Call me Bibinhio...

Unknown said...

is it 2 young 2 fall in LOVE???
i'm not the person to ans the qn....

after reading this i'm left with memories!

BiBinhio said...

memories...memories...memories...

mole a lineil keri valikkano???!!!...